“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Source: 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
One of the greatest lessons I learnt in life at the age of 24 is about love and how strange and magnificent an emotion it is. It’s not that I have never been in love before or something like that. But the authenticity of love, the authenticity of missing some one, the authenticity of rejection, the authenticity of lost love and the authenticity of failed love and hopes!
I had a very close friend, a powerful and really good friend. Over the span of years we got closer and one day yours truly started having feelings for the person. Sheepishly I tried to circumvent through it and ended venting it out in the most messy matter as possible. The expected rejection through the travails of distance and destroyed feelings intensified from chronic loneliness landed me into the worst seen emotions ever, un-experienced never before in my life. Shrugging away all attempts at a rebound, you finally realize how you are finally a man. Really felt how authentic and powerful love was.
Even after all this time
The sun never says to the earth “you owe me”.
Look what happens with a Love like that!
– It lights the whole Sky. (Hafiz)
I was thinking why do people fall in and out of love ? Why do people really love breaking hearts as if it is the most honorable thing to do ? Why does a male and female attach themselves under the false guise of friendship, over a period of time, fully knowing each other, just break apart like total strangers (like seeing each other for the first time) the moment the word ‘love’ is mentioned ? If God is love or if love is the finest of emotions bequeathed to man by the creator, why does it hurt? When you fully know a person, is committing to that person so bad ? Agreed not all male and female who gets attached need to fall in love, is it so bad that long time friends when they start to have feelings should hide it forever? These questions raged in my mind for months.
I just took some time off and went on with my friends. There were similar cases like this all around. People living heart broken lives. Not that they were weak personally or professionally but definitely yes heart broken. Cowards love to go for a rebound, brave people live through the experience. So I went to these people (couple of my friends); I just told them ‘Just believe the girl will be back’. Miraculously for them and luckily for me, many of them came back. I doubt if it was prophesying power or a miraculous intervention; one thing is sure it worked!! But I still believe I just told them what they wanted to hear and it worked!
Love is a testimony to the great human condition we have. All our achievements, successes are just a speckle of dust before love. When you truly love someone, you actually worship that person for what they are; the moment they leave, feelings of loss, despair resulting in heart break and the actual ‘mourning process’ that ensues shows that no matter how mammoth the we are in ego, persona, ambition and riches, we are actually frail and weak just to our emotions and feelings! See the check that God has on men. How the greatest of men are held captive to this unseeingly powerful emotion!
‘What goes around comes around’ or karma is another notion that is used. It’s true. I believe life is one big diary of checks and balances. Let me share a personal experience. When I was in college, I used to get even at my ever quarelling grandparents with a lethally potent weapon called ‘silent treatment’. Tried it couple of times and my grandfather used to tell me it was painful. I discontinued it’s use after that, coz it was potentially lethal in a relationship. Still at times I used it one loved ones. When I got at the receiving end this year, man life came full circle.
Life as always said is a giant balance book. Ever since I have been careful about what I speak, what I think and most importantly the importance of being mature with the age. I still believe we individuals have a free run. But one day we are held responsible for our actions.
Then hope. After with the case of love ‘returning’ for a couple of my friends, the power of hope is even assuring. But to hope you need to believe. I believe in the power of words; the power to inspire people and put down people. It is imperative that through our words, we need to inspire people and a heart broken person rather than being consoled, if he is made to believe that the love will return, it returns faster. And trust me its not magic, nor a miracle, just the power of words and the spirit of belief.
See how its all in our words and deeds. Loving someone is not bad, if there is a chance to be taken it has to be taken. But to me the the dastardly of all human actions is actually giving hopes and then breaking it; pretending nothing happened; deceiving it. It is the worst nightmare and I do have friends who actually go through the nightmare. Same is the case with messy divorces and separations. To concluding hurting love does no good, nor is breaking hopes resulting in lost faith.
Then there is consolation. Actually it is great to be heartbroken. simply a great feeling to be heartbroken if the energies are utilized in the most positive manner as possible. I have seen people achieving the very impossible from heart breaks and rejections and vice versa also. But once it is lost, don’t stay back, forgive the person who wronged you and support them with love (expecting nothing in return), move on with life and be the victor realizing the fact that what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger!!