The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln
Expectations. Well a very abstract term in scope; very convergent in ambition. We all have lot of expectations from future, from our families, from our career, from our friends and from everything that is associated with us. Our life revolve around lot of expectations as well. Hence it is a web of cross linked beliefs and faiths. It’s very common for expectations to be broken, so it is for expectations to be fulfilled.
I knew someone. Well he had this knack of expecting, a lot in-fact from life, people around him, his loved ones, from his career and his abilities that most of the time, he used to make sure that his expectations are met. Ambitious in his nature, zoomed past his contemporaries never for a moment realizing that in the process he was missing out a lot in life. Expecting too much from life and love, he got bored with them both and eventually let go of both at a stage in his life. Losing life was bearable, but the pain of losing love hit him hard. Disillusioned, he stopped expecting from anything in life. Just moved apart and watched life craft its amazing tale around him. As he watched, he saw life in a new light, places he never felt he could be, doing this he never expected he could ever do and in the process becoming a better person. When he was all settled, he started to expect love in a new way, in a way he never thought he could. But love never came back, but life still ushered him happiness after happiness. He became disillusioned, ignoring the happiness, instead running behind love all the time. Still it ignored him. Frustrated, tired, he just gave up disillusioned. For a moment someone offered him the hope of a drink. Looking up to that someone with gratitude, he asked for a name. Life came the reply. Surprised, he asked again, but the man just disappeared. After an introspection he realized that all these times, his life was his true love, his expectations from his life his true companion.
This story might sound utter gibberish and trash. But the question I wanted to pose to many people is, do you love your life ? Are you selfish about your life ? I am. I always feel we needs to be selfish about our life, the way it is. I know that its always harsh to believe the fact that love, faith and God should come first in our life and etc. I agree with them and I don’t want to corroborate that very fact. These days people love to associate anything and everything around them to destiny. Isn’t that the very reason that we worry in life ? I have always felt people spend hours and hours in meaningless worries about life that the very time for constructive activities get diminished. The moment a man is comfortable in a comfort zone he becomes the master of the situation that he ignores his potential and just slogs on. They don’t dream or think higher. Countless people that I know just vanished into obscurity because of this very fact.
Let me tell you a very funny incident. I have been using a Macbook for the past two years. All these times, the Mac was just used for general purposes only. Over time, it slowed with time and it ended up being a tool for browsing the Internet only. Couple of days back, yours truly was seriously thinking of buying a new Mac when the thought hit on why not I format the whole thing? After formatting, the Mac started to work just like a beauty till about today when again by mistake, yours truly spilled water all over accidentally and the Mac won’t work. I am keeping my fingers crossed. On my way to university today, my Eritrean colleague and myself were discussing the very issue when he mentioned that’s how life is. When we live life with zero expectations we get the best in life: be it in career, relationships anything. The moment the mind starts to weave its control or seek ownership, the sweet turns bitter, the success to failure, the love to hate etc. The same was the issue with Mac as well.
The question remains: Why ? Why does this happen ? Why does a person who studies till Ph.D burning oil, struggle for months to get a job, insulted on various factors from his religion to his degree on this very issue, turning his job hunting into a nightmare. Disillusioned, the moment he stops expecting , life just gives him many jobs. Why does a person who when he wants to go for further studies doesn’t get into a single university, but when he least wants it universities come calling ? Why does it all happen ? No one knows. No one will know. Expectations are supposed to be our best companion, but they invariably get broken, the moment we aspire for them to be a reality.
One of the thought provoking books that I read this year was Become a Better You: 7 Keys to Improving Your Life Every Day by Joel Osteen. This book had a profound impact on me this year as it really shook me and crafted me into a sculpture of a true personality from the debris of the severe identity crisis I had earlier this year. It speaks about the same thing: Expect, Dream and Belief. Joel also mentions how important it is for us to prepare for whatever we believe in and letting it go once we are 100% prepared. Now any average reader might ask, what the hell is that ? But that’s the invariable truth. The anecdote of a tale he mentions is about a family he knew. They were living in a rented apartment. The husband always used to tell his wife that we are going to move into a new house and hence used to buy expensive items to fill the new house. The wife though a bit perplexed about the man and his intentions, supported her husband fully. One day unfortunately, the man was laid off. Then neighbors jeered at the family for their folly as they used to spend their money on this freaky expectations by the man. The wife supported her husband fully in this ordeal which lasted months. The man never lost hope. Later he found a new job which paid less than the former one and he continued to prepare well. This time the wife would have none of this crap. She rebelled vehemently, to which the man said “I will stop when I am 100% prepared”. As months passed, the man was promoted quickly and before anyone knew it, he reached a post where he could easily buy a house and the rest fitted in like a glove. That’s the power of preparing.
Concluding, expectations about life makes a man. Its all about expecting, preparing yourself and letting it go. One day somehow the butterfly comes to the very net prepared for it soon after the hunter leaves the chasing game tired and discouraged. That’s life. How expectations are met nevertheless how much battles were lost in the due time, the war will be always won.