Loneliness

Loneliness is this world’s worst kind of pain.
Sabaku no Gaara in Naruto

I wrote this poem not just for the loneliness content. The feeling of loneliness is painful and disdainful at the same time. But at the end there is hope, promise, love and life which never ends. Me like anyone have gone through this phase and I feel so happy so energised and full of cheer. As they say ‘What cant kill you, only makes you stronger’

Life passes through my eyes,
as I walk through the paces,
making my way through the humanity,
living its very own dignity,

slowly, and slowly I make my way,
to the seat that lay empty,
for to sit is my choice,
for sit I lonely in peace.

I look back in time,
through times that chime,
in happiness unbound,
times i laughed out loud,
chatted and bickered,
showed my worth!
Now I look feeling so empty,
Deep down in heart that lay,
awaiting the spring of love so lost!

Oh! what a feeling of being unworthy,
so unwanted yet so painful,
tears drip and drip so full,
finding solace so lull,
for love to return looks so dull,
like a mirage so playful,
but pain so disdainful!

Hands brush my hair,
I look up for the angel near,
she looks to me full of cheer,
Dont feel lonely my dear,
I am here for you my lover,
Never to leave you a loner,
To you I give a life with no mear!
For the spring that veer,
I give you happiness so dear.

That’s the spirit of life. Fully energized and ready to go. Let’s have a blast!

Emotions..

Lonely as I sit in my solace,
Unperturbed by life and its pace,
My mind drifts off as always,
to the ocean of tranquility,
I run through the pristine virginity,
of the sun-soaked beach,
as calm waters rush all along.

Suddenly, O Suddenly,
the waters turn crimson,
violent the waves turn in unison,
thunder strikes so badly,
I run all along for shelter.

Pray I loud for relief,
Life for its perturbed stiff,
Alas! how fast things changed,
Cry, I aloud, Oh aloud,
What thy sinner do for this deserveth.

Come here, cries aloud a womans voice,
Stunned as I am by the whisper in the rage,
Open arms welcome me,
with the touch so serene,
and the kiss so soothing,
I forget the chaos that led me!
As in her arms, complete becomes my solace,
as I slaved myself to love.

Again o Again, everything calms down,
I look around once again,
normal as things they may seem,
look around for the woman,
that made me feel so calm,
as life and all around it turned.

Where is she I wonder,
Run again do I for her ponder,
I run and I run for her,
Not a mirage to be found,
neither a footprint that led,
Oh Lord, what do I say,
Why do you do this play ?

Angry as I am for the creator,
Curse I for his follies yonder,
Time passes as I surrender,
To these thoughts that made me wander…

Image courtesy: http://tn3-1.deviantart.com/fs15/300W/f/2007/004/8/1/real_emotion_by_Qa9ed2000.jpg

“A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” Oscar Wilde

Long time Love


It’s been a long time since I wrote anything useful. Thought of writing a poem and let me see…:)

I walk alone these days,
Thinking of the times,
I spent with you always.
Never realized how you were,
there for me,
through your smiles,
and foolish talks,
I lived a life so dear,
Leaving you alone was so painful,
I expected to see you one day,
But fate had its way,
You saw a face that made you walk away,
I never wanted to hurt you,
never wanted to trouble you,
just wanted to say how much I love you,
but never knew how to say to you.
Now as I stand miles and miles away,
the chinook winds say,
you will be back one day.
I wait for that day,
with deep breath and I pray,
for patience and hope that sway,
on sinners like me may,
receive solace and pity..
I love you…so dearly..

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”

– Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. “Love is the beauty of the soul.”

Image Courtesy: http://www.desicomments.com/user/2008/02/2982/LoveHurts-diane-candyass.gif

Paradise

I lie in my bed,
waiting as the final moments,
of my life plays,
out with the call,
the call I have been waiting for,
the call of death.

The raging mind has fallen,
the body ready for its destiny,
I am to be carried away,
by Hades far far away,
the end for many.

Lonely, I am in this state,
my eyes wander around here and there,
I see three people,
cloaked in white,
all readied to hale,
me out of my misery.
Full of shine and grace,
the sight of them turn me pale,
As they have come for me!!

I close my eyes,
activate my mind for the thoughts,
of the life I once lived,
with my parents,
my wife and children,
for all have left me,
but thoughts remain!
My thoughts are my pals,
Have been for many years,
Since the day I have been born,
till today as I leave.

I see a spring, a valley,
I see the sun in all its glory,
Looking at myself,
I see myself clothed in whites,
And skin radiant as ever!

I look around!
I see the three people again,
make myself toward them,
Full of cheer and love,
they welcome me to paradise!

I lost my grandfather a year ago. A event that had a profound impact on me for a long time. Moments before he died, he told us about 2-3 people by the bed side. The poem is a fictional characterization of his thoughts.
“Paradise is our native country, and we in this world be as exiles and strangers” Richard Greenham

Revenge….

I sit in my cellar each day,
Looking out at the bay,
with clenched fists,
mind full of twists,
of despair and anger,
at the man responsible for this misery.
Oh! revenge what a sweet feeling,
when accomplished with the doing,
with the reaction to the action,
that made me in this condition.
I wait each day,
looking at the bay,
for the day of my freedom.
Out! you go, for you are free,
screamed the jailor,
throwing at me my clothes,
and opened the doors,
of freedom so, much desired!
I go to the man who was,
responsible for my loss,
a mind full of vengeance,
and a heart of anger.
Today, I avenge my misery!
I reach his house fast as I can carry,
for time is too short for remorse.
I see a procession of people,
full of black,
with a walk so sad,
I ask one of them,
the reply made me jump!
for the man I wanted to avenge,
had met his revenge….
tenny poems#4

“Revenge… is like a rolling stone, which, when a man hath forced up a hill, will return upon him with a greater violence, and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion.”

Albert Schweitzer

Faith

I look at the world through the eyes of faith,
Wonder at the amazing works that is laith,
before me to understand and comprehend,
for the hand of God that touched,
everything that ever breathed!
I see simplicity in creation,
showcasing craftmanship in its perfection.
I live my life through faith,
and I achieve everything that life hath,
thrown at me..!!
for faith makes life special,
and all its instances jovial.
Faith makes us experience God,
making us aware that we erred,
for much in life we expected,
not knowing life is to be experienced,
in each day, each hour,
each second of the love poured on us.
We are the creation of love,
children of peace,
endorsed by faith,
we can do nothing, but live a life of,
faith and only faith.
Have faith and a life liveth,
so forth will never stumble,
or tremble,
but stand to the challenges.
If one can move mountains through faith,
walk on water through faith,
then life and all its worries, is nothing but a speck of dust..
Have faith, and you will never worry,
never be sorry,
of yourselves and about your mistakes!
Have faith..and see how life changeth!
tenny poems# 3
Today was a tiring day with the 37th Canadian Society for Chemical Engineering conference being held in Edmonton. So during the lunch break, yours truly and a colleague went out to have lunch. We walked a couple of blocks to get to the bus stop and catch the bus we were supposed to travel. Hungry and tired we were, we saw our bus coming in the opposite lane to us. We cant cross the road as the signal just turned green. I was sure, I would miss the bus and will have to wait a good time before another one shows up. But my colleague just muttered ‘have faith, my friend!!’. Miraculously the bus not only waited, we just comfortably got in the bus and have a great lunch.
“Faith makes all things possible………….” (unknown author)

The Light

We have seen a light,
that shines from where,
we wish we knew,
the light that leads us
through the annals
of life and all it has.
The light that manifest-ed,
itself as a star and led,
the Magi to Jesus Christ.
The light that showed Jacob the heavens,
and the light that gave Moses his tasks.
For we are lighted to lighten,
through the light of the one,
for generations look upon us,
and praise him through our deeds.
Yes our deeds reflect the light,
that shines from where,
we wish we knew.
Let us reflect the light we get, let us share the passion of what we are through our deeds.

Gratitude


Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful. Buddha

Gratitude speaks volumes of the favors received,
some asked for, some granted,

some coming unexpectedly,
called miracles that are so Godly.

I thank thee for thy blessings,
granted through my mutterings,
for things that I need,
and for things I do not need.

Ye has given me what I need,
some through my plead,
some without any,
for your graces are many,
and your love abundant.

Oh! Lord, I pour out to you,
with words of gratitude….

Above are a few lines I scribbled. The first time I ever attempted writing a poem.
Gratitude well the name says it all, I am not boring you with any lengthy discourses. Just I hope you study the picture and get the meaning.
Cheers!

The Wall

Ever since I came across the article that said that the American administration in Iraq is building a wall to separate the various factions in the Anbar province, the various ‘walls’ that have sprung up in the world before came into my notice..Well before this banter gets off…Wikipedia tells that a wall is a

‘………is a usually solid structure that defines and sometimes protects an area. Most commonly, a wall delineates a building and supports its superstructure, separates space in buildings into rooms, or protects or delineates a space in the open air. There are three principal types of structural walls: building walls, exterior boundary walls, and retaining walls….’

World over we have seen different walls springing up in different parts of the world..some for protection purposes, some purely divisive and some general purpose…Nothing has fascinated me like the Great Wall of China too….but the walls that divide people are the ones that intrigue me and the basis for this article.!
The Berlin wall was conceived by the East German administration of Walter and approved by Soviet leader Nikita Khruschev it was built during the post-World war 2 period of divided Germany, in an effort to stop the drain of labour and economic output associated with the daily migration of huge numbers of professionals and skilled workers from East to West Berlin, and the attendant defections, which hurt the Communist bloc economically and politically. Well effectively it did was divide the people of Germany for one full generation till its fall in 1989. Germany has grown stupendously ever since.

Does walls work? The walls built by Israel separating the Palestinians from the Israelites long time back..Oops! it wasn’t a wall, fence..whatever….Well the purpose the fence was built was to make sure that the attacks on the Jewish settlers reduce…did it ? it hasn’t…! Americans building another wall in Anbar province…to protect whom ?

So far I have discussed about the physical walls that separate people..For a moment let’s go to the basics. Human beings anatomically are the same with each species both male and female with identical features neverthless to say…and human beings are born for inter-dependance. Has it been the case in today’s world? The mental walls between the people are too great..We live in a world of stereotypes…Either you are black/white, christian/muslim, sunni/shia, roman catholic/protestant, indian/arab/english….whatever..at what cost…Look at Africa…We have been too busy stereotyping ourselves that, a continent of lost people inflicted with diseases and poverty…who is responsible ? A choking mother nature, broken families….humor seems to have lost its worth! We see people everywhere struggling to make a mark in life…Work and work..all the money we earn is just not enough to satisfy our needs…spiritually we are drained..going from one god to another..what’s the use…still we are inside newer walls?

It took East Germans a generation to understand their folly…Today the progress of Germany is astounding…Bring down the walls that bind us..We need a society of people minus stereotypes…Where man thinks alike, where each man learns to respect each other for what we are and not what we can become..

The Israelites went around the wall of Jericho for seven days, shouting praises to God…the seventh day, the wall fell…When will we go around our walls of despair ?

Image courtesy: Israeli-Palestinian wall.  http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3d/Israel-Palestinian_Wall_Ich_Bin_Eine_Berliner.jpg

The Will to Live!

It was months back in a desolate oil production facility that I first came across Jigsaw and his antics in the acclaimed movie franchise Saw. I saw the second version of the franchise then and this week took the third version too. Well the second version was cunningly brilliant, the third part was logically excellent!! Hey whats that…both sound well similar..No folks this is not another movie review and I am not going to play a game as Mr. Jigsaw does…..but I may be lying…Read on!
The will to live…the value of life has haunted people since time immemorial. Ever seen animals ? We see how foxes outfoxes lambs and gobbles them as food..lion, tigers after prey..vultures after the dead. Well the last one is an aberration, think about the other two. Preys to a cunning terminator higher than the animal in the food cycle. Well the food cycle has to go. Herbivorous, Carnivorous….Omnivorous!! the familiar terms from the Science classes. Still the prey never exhibits the slightest emotion. Slowly, steadily the food cycle continues!
Now human beings the last but one link in the food cycle..No one above him to devours him alive except under strange circumstances, still we know after man comes the vultures ( I forgot that term..yes I remember scavengers). Yet they too feed on the dead. Again too slowly and steadily!
Why does man value his life so much ? Think about this. We have a man on top of the Eiffel Tower ready to jump to his gory glorified end. Looks up and ready to jump. Let’s call him…Ben. I go there..
“Hello Ben…How are you?”
“I am not fine..Go..Don’t disturb me”
“Hey Ben I am not gonna disturb you. I know exactly what you are going to do”
“Oh yea! great…Now get the f**k outta here. Stop pissing around”
“Ben..Come on man…I will help you die. Why dont we play a game ?”
“What game ? I ain’t coming for any game..Just leave me alone”
“No Ben I am not gonna leave you’ I catch him by the arm, twist it and chains him, ties the key to his neck..pushes him to the rail with head out, tie the legs on to the railings, hanging him by the leg! with head viewing the awaiting glory beneath. “So Ben you want to die…Why don’t you experience it and die ?” Attaching a timed explosive to his waist..”Untie yourself before a minute and try getting out, else be doomed..” Does Ben come out in time ? Lets see…
Ben was the epitome of a failed life. For him life was a complete failure. Life dint mean anything to him. With his lover leaving for greener pastures, rising debts and joblessness, life was never ever better for Ben. So ending it was the easier way out..He never bothered with the hard way! Well does he make it now with the hard way to escape….or does he cherish the hard way to die himself ? The game continues….

The hardest part in life is living it…No doubt..The easiest part is leaving it also!! That’s how things work out. Jigsaw’s tests wanted to change their opinions with life and as we see his protege Amanda who survives his test in the first part….turns into a cold blooded murderer and ultimately failing the test of the master in the final part. Life still have to be experienced. My grandfather used to say ‘Its easier to swim in calm water than in rough waters!!’. Life is like that. We go ahead doing the hard things..Easier things bring us down no doubt..Well Ben did try the easy way out of life…But hey when given the hard option the man is yelling and crying for his life….! Why is that so ? Well that’s when the will to live begins to form…Ben dint survive the game…Are you ready to play the game ?
Jigsaw din’t like people who murder for the sake of it…He just tests the will of the people to live….So where is the wil to live ?