Worst Case Scenario

These days I am reading about the exploits of the Israelites who left Egypt and crossed the Red Sea fleeing the mighty Ramses and his Egyptian army. If one were to trace the path the Israelites took and their wanderings, they took over 40 years and one generation to cross an area which their descendants (the modern state of Israel) successfully captured in the Six Day War of 1967. Of the various tales from this long sojourn there is one that strikes a chord in answering the most profoundest of human conditions: the worst-case scenario.

We all have a tendency to get carried away whenever disaster strikes our lives. We tend to think and ponder over the worst that could/may happen.  This causes us to ponder over a time that might happen and the consequences that may occur subsequently.

When the Israelites left Egypt, they got carried away with their pitiable circumstances in the wilderness. Many times they repeatedly rebelled against their leaders and their God. Every time they had their way with their constant and consistent acts of rebellion despite many acts of benevolence and subsistence by their God.

What does this teach us? It is very easy to imagine the doom and gloom scenario. It is very easy to give up and say it is not possible and that you will never get cured from this illness or never get the promotion that you wished for. The difficult part is to believe that the impossible can happen- and that any worst case scenario can be outlived or outgrown. Every circumstance in life that we are thrown into challenges our belief systems. It is easy to feel isolated, dejected and even defeated. It is easy to give up and throw in the towel. We find ourselves dejected at times on the slow progress made in the wilderness of our lives. The hardest part is to believe that anything can change or improve. But most of the time, it is the only channel of hope that we have for further progress.

In the story of the Israelites, when they sent out twelve spies to check out the so-called fertile lands of Canaan. All of them came back mentioning about the giants that occupied that land, yet just two out of the ten came back with a proposal that we can take the land through faith. When the general consensus went against the two, the Israelites found themselves roaming a wilderness for forty years and a generation, before they took the land that they to this date call home.

Some days ago, I was listening to a podcast by Michael Hyatt where he interviews his show host Michele Cushatt for an episode titled ‘Making peace with an unexpected life’. She mentions about the various struggles in her life in addition to fighting with cancer. There she relates her life to the story of God providing the Israelites with manna from heaven. The Israelites were specifically instructed to collect the manna that fell from heaven that they just needed for each day. But like any human being, they kept collecting much more than what they actually needed, thinking about the future. What happened was that in the night these manna became maggots and had to subsequently thrown away the next day. The point being illustrated here was that even in the wilderness, God gives you subsistence that you just need, nothing more, nothing less. You can read more about Michelle in her book Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life.

Our fears and apprehensions regarding the future of ourselves and/or our loved ones may come true and we could be cast into the wilderness of life. It is important for us to remain strong in faith and to continuously believe as we sojourn through that wilderness, believing that the oasis of comfort and relief will be reached sooner than we can think.

Summarizing, worst-case scenarios that you fear today may or may not come true. But you can actually use it to make it your best-case scenario.

Image: Gathering of Manna by Francesco Bacchiacca

Meaningful Life

I heard somewhere once that “ a true life is a sum of its parts”.

Have you ever thought about your life? Have you ever thought why you wake up in the morning, and if you have a partner, wake her up, get ready and go to work? Have you ever thought about yourself as you work under/for someone or yourself, hours each day? Have you ever thought about the hours you spend from the ones you love, working for them and striving to make their lives better? Have you ever thought about the distances you traverse in life, the food that goes into you each day, the words you speak, the thoughts that fill the void space of your mind, the passions and desires of your heart? Have you ever thought about your body, the sense organs, the bones, the cells that work hard to help you achieve your dreams, ambition and carry you to exciting places in the small time and short sojourn on this beautiful planet? Have you ever…thought about, your life?

Its very hard to define what a person’s life on this earth is. Because if you try to define a life lived, you will go crazy. The contradictions, the uncertainties, the revelations all make you realize that there is no singularity to life and that it is highly complex.

What then is life? As humans we are born into this world without any freedom of choice. We do not get to select the womb that we are born into, nor select our parents, our country of birth, our skin color, our faith- we do not get to select anything. We do not get to choose our destiny and we do not know what may happen to us tomorrow. It may seem that we do not know anything about us at all. Now that’s not a comforting matter right? Yes, it is. What you do not know is greater than what you actually know about your life on this earth. That kind of makes it meaningless right. What is the end of this earthly life? For some traditions it is a box within buried six feet under the Earth. For others it is an urn of incinerated ash.

The point is that in a seemingly meaningless existence we are blessed with one freedom-that of choice. The choice to do the right thing. The choice to do something remarkable that would benefit not just yourself but that would makes the lives of billions others like you meaningful. The choice to convert a meaningless life to one that is meaningful in its existence.

Summarizing, you do not know anything about yourself. But you have the choice to make your life count. Go make it count.

Image courtesy: https://www.flickr.com/photos/h-k-d/4219294871/

Politics: Left, Right, Straight, etc.

I have followed politics since the time I can remember yet I was never enamored by it. My FB profile states me as a ‘Liberal by mind and a Conservative’ by heart. I have spend a lot of time in my life trying to understand what is the difference between both the right and left wings of the political spectrum? Which is more important, is it the belief that:

  • The development of the country comes first and it will percolate into the development of people.
  • Or the development of the people and the various socio-economic factors that influence them that might lead to the development of the country.

A seasoned political observer who reads these lines above may argue that is not the correct way to define both the right vs. left. Please consider it only as my perspective.

I was raised up in a kingdom. I lived a good amount of life in a society where there was no left way or the right way-it was only the king’s way. As we were expatriates, we had to work hard, make money, pay the home rent, go for annual vacations, come back, work hard, make money…and the cycle goes on forever. This was what we had to be worried about-executing this cycle. There was no taxes to be paid, no need to worry about the condition of the roads, bureaucracy or even the plight of state transportation, there was no democratic engagement-there was never a democracy or even a representative. If you cannot continue the cycle of life, you can leave. The king ensured his subjects were pampered and well treated. The expatriates broke their back working hard for the glory of the king and kingdom.

Come to India, the native country and one is presented with a different picture. People pay taxes, elect their representatives, have a say in the decision making process, have to suffer with crumbling infrastructure-everything was a stark contrast to what was seen in the kingdom. Since I come from a politically sensitive state, where the worker class belonged to the left movement, the rich class and landowners belonged to the right and the nationalists were derided as religious fanatics and shunted away. My state was the first place in the entire world where there was a democratically elected communist government (it happened at a time when US was so sensitive to the communist movement that they had to intervene to get the government shunted out- a post for a different day).

The left movement of my state was a thrilling experience to be in. There was power in your voice- your thoughts and beliefs for a better world with equality and fairness can resonate quickly in this movement. For a staunchly raised Christian, I could resonate easily with the Kingdom of God concept and the communist movement. With exemplary leaders, scarred life long with the scars from their revolutionary past-it simply made sense. Left is the correct way. People come first, the country is next. But again life is never one-dimensional. Beliefs and thoughts are a free commodity since they come from within you- however acting on them can be costly.

So where does the money come from for the actions? It’s with the landowners and the business people. For them profit is the primary objective and they use their acumen to convert capital into business. Successful business generates cash flow and is built on human efforts. More cash flow equals more business people and more businesses. More people thus get employed and the cycle goes on. It is a noble cycle where the state gets its share from the taxes and uses it for infrastructure, economic and social development. This is where the right wing comes into play. They control businesses that run the country or in today’s times they run the country. Left may be correct- but there is only one right way.

Nationalistic parties prop up in the abyss of right wing and left wing politics. Mostly they latch on to an ideology that can be religious, linguistic or even based on societal systems and factors as a means to capture power and steer the country forward. They believe that they can be the best bet to balance both the business aspirations and worker desires as means to attain social equality in the long run i.e., they try to be the best of both worlds. Most of the time they end up doing too much or too little and in the end faltering into either the right wing or the left wing camps.

As you can see there are three different sets of political thoughts and process with many grey areas between them-unlike from a kingdom, where the king takes the final decision, wages wars, eliminates dissent and ensure free, fair rule for all. As much as power is concentrated on one individual to deliver, it also empowers him to do things, which he feels is right. However in a democracy it is not like that. Its all about either politics or governance. I think both can never be inclusive yet rather exclusive.

I spend a good amount of my time believing in either and getting disillusioned with the realization that as time goes on there seem to be not much difference between both of them. For e.g., in Canada, the province that I live has always voted Conservatives (right) for more than three decades. Most of the time the polling percentages are low with mostly farmer voters, who are frightened of the Liberals (left) with their tax increases. My province due to its abundant natural resources is wealthy with lowest taxes and crumbling infrastructure. If you take an Eastern province like Ontario, one can find very high taxes, increased voter participation with dwindling economic fortunes- causing people to migrate in large numbers to my province. If you take India, my state is alternatively ruled by the Left and Right-in startling precision that the socio-economic factors are among the highest in the country- however with poor infrastructure and high attrition (a common refrain is that young people are leaving and the old people are dying).

Which is right? I think all of them (kingdom, right, left and nationalistic) have only slowed the march of human progress and have delayed a society where there is equality and fairness, where every human is empowered to do the right thing. I believe that the latter exists only in a childhood fantasy will never be possible in a world like today. It is important to do your part in doing the right thing always with a greater perspective and focus for the betterment of human race because all political systems and beliefs may change, your liberal nature in accepting everyone and your passion to do the right thing for others will remain as your legacy-which in the end will only last.

Confrontation

Is face-to-face confrontation a good thing? This is a perennial question always being asked in management circles. Most of the time from what I have seen or heard from till now, leaders/managers try to avoid face to face confrontation by delegating it to soft forms like email, letters or even delegating it to HR or other specialized agencies. In today’s world, especially since the 2008 recession and the unstable economy since then, careers have been rocked too many times due to continuous and relentless churning from companies. This has led to the development of systems and processes that ensure face-to-face confrontation is kept to a minimum and people are ‘being let go’ through other means.

Why are leaders avoiding face-to-face confrontation these days? I had a chance to converse with many people who were at many times being laid off from different companies; and the common refrain that they keep mentioning is that- we were hurt the most when our immediate supervisor was no where to be found as we were being let go. If they are so scared of confronting us with our failures, it makes us wonder as to what did we actually do wrong?

Is confrontation a bad thing? I was searching some literature over confrontation in the hopes of writing a blog post on confrontation. I came across the following quote from David Bowie- Confront a corpse at least once. The absolute absence of life is the most disturbing and challenging confrontation you will ever have.

During my school years, much ado was made about the fact how medical students have to watch a corpse all by themselves for few hours in a closed room for their very first lab class. Some people have commented how much of a nerve-racking experience it was. But most of them mentioned that practical truly prepared them for the future. I remember an incident from secondary school years, when I had to view a suicide in the hostel I lived in India. The manager of the hostel was accused of financial embezzlement and before he could be formally charged, he decided to end his life rather risk the shame and notoriety afterwards. What made it challenging to me was that couple of hours before he decided to end it, I ran into him while doing laundry. He was happy at that time and we had a fun conversation. He was nowhere to be seen the next day and a day later, his decomposed body was found from the woods, with a rope around his neck and a broken tree branch. Seeing his body being taken from the woods shocked me to the core for weeks.

After that incident, I have seen how my grandparents and many relatives both young and old moving on from this earthly life. Each and everytime you get emboldened to face the inevitable and be immune to the fear and the fact that-one day you might be next. That to me is the naked truth behind confrontation. It is to realize the fact that everything is finite. Confronting the issue or the person can portray exactly your viewpoint on this matter and also to listen to the other person about his view and why the decision was made in this regard. It is important to clear the air and move on, as life is simply finite.

Most of the time whenever I end up in confrontation, I try to do justice in the first go itself, but sometimes, it doesn’t turn out the way I intend it to turn. But that is not to be worried. It is essential that communication is made face-to-face and if needed supplemented by the soft tools like email etc. Confrontation has to be clear, concise and if needed brutal. Be prepared for the feedback and try to channel it in a positive manner so that a realistic outcome is achieved.

To read more about confrontation, check out this book:

The Power of Positive Confrontation: The Skills You Need to Handle Conflicts at Work, at Home, Online, and in Life, completely revised and updated edition

 

Decisions

Have you ever wondered about how you take critical decisions in your life? If not, do think once in a while. Did the decision and the subsequent action of yours amount to anything? Did it achieve its desired objective? Did it make the change that you hoped from a situation? Did it change your life for the good or the better? Was it necessary to make such a decision? What would be your rationale in making such a decision? Yours truly asked a few people about this issue. Most of them said that the most important criteria in making decisions to them were to do what they felt was right for them. Then I asked, have you ever thought about the consequences of your decision? The answer I received was that, No, as long as the consequence dint affect us, we dint bother. When the dear reader of this post thinks about this assertion, please think for a moment what would you be doing?

Our decisions are important components of our legacy that we leave on this earth. If there is something that is really certain in this life is the fact that we would have to leave this earth one day. Since that is the only thing that can be assured in this mundane life, why don’t we make a conscious effort to do the right thing?

Why is it important to do the right thing? Because in the end, only that is right and just will endure. For example, I have heard tales of people facing difficult choices when it comes to their career, relationships, family life etc. Most of the time, the choices are down to the following.

  • The right thing I feel is apt to my immediate (short-term) interests.
  • The overall right thing which may not be apt to my interests but looks right in the long term

The good thing about the former is that results are known beforehand and the chances of anything to the contrary are very remote. But deep down inside, you know that it’s not a lasting choice and you might consciously end up regretting the decision for a long time. However in the case of latter, it may cause deep and profound short-term pain but has the potential create lasting long-term gains.

In the end, the simple question that one needs to ask him is that, what is the point of gaining the world and yet losing your soul? It is important to take decisions that are right not just for yourself, but that which is the absolute right thing to do. Your intuition, conscience, beliefs and experiences will guide you as you make this choice. But remember you will die once and never leave for yourself a grieving soul.

Touching base

Hello all,

It’s been a long time since I scribed something. I was on a sabbatical for a month, after a long tiring vacation to Middle East and India. It was quite eventful and my better half and me were exposed to a wide range of issues, which I will percolate slowly into this blog throughout this year. Its interesting to see how things change in different parts of the world, but in the core, the issues are quite similar everywhere.

We arrived back to Canada after a long flight from Kerala to San Francisco via Abu Dhabi. We were absolutely fortunate to latch on to a business class ticket from Abu Dhabi till San Francisco. It was my first experience travelling on a long haul flight and I wanted to experience the luxury of a airline that was selected the Best First Class Airline for 2013.

The airport in Abu Dhabi was a joke considering the number of connecting flights from there to the rest of the world. It was highly incapable of handling the passenger load and the logistics were a nightmare. The business class lounge in the airport was an excellent experience to behold and I hoped it would get better during the flight. The service was pale and highly inconsistent though the facilities provided were a class part. I have written before of how the Gulf airlines destroyed the Indian airlines that did these types of long haul flights here. When they cornered the entire Indian market, they became a pale comparison to what was offered earlier.

The flight to San Francisco was quite long at around 16 hours and the travel in business class made it quite pleasing. Once we reached SFO, we were kindly informed that our luggage have been left in Abu Dhabi and will be sent to Edmonton. It did come 10 days later. After that we flew to Edmonton to come to a broken furnace and a cold welcome. Reality is often a cold reminder that circumstances might change, places and people might change, but sh*t always happens. Murphy is always right.

Welcome to the New Year! It will be exciting.

Image courtesy: http://www.elixirofknowledge.com/2014/09/murphy-law.html

Jesus in Christmas

“Those were the days… when Christmas meant values, it meant loving and caring…Today Christmas is all about business, shopping for, giving and receiving gifts- promotions, sales etc. We live in a materialistic world and is never going to be the same anymore”

I have heard this refrain consistently for the past many years. Sermons in the church try to emphasize on the fact that Christmas is the time for a new beginning when Jesus Christ was born in a manger, somewhere in Bethlehem centuries ago. Countless parties showcase Father Nick dressed in his red merry outfit, exclaiming “Ho! Ho! and handing over gifts to both grownups and kids alive. Carols are created and sung in every nook and corner, people celebrate and drown themselves in opulence and pomp!
What is Christmas? Is it merely the day when Jesus was born in a manger centuries ago? Was he even born on that day? If one follows the messages of Jesus and if he were to be in today’s world on December 25, he would have the shock of his life. It is not the materialism or the maddening gaiety or the pomp that would have concerned him. He wouldn’t care. It is the lack of empathy and care among human beings that would have worried him the most.
If one follows the birth, life and teachings of our Lord, you can see a common strand in his teachings, miracles and events around his life- his empathy towards everyone-from a Roman soldier, to a tax collector, to a prostitute and even to the person who eventually betrayed him. He could look straight in the eyes of the other person and feel his fear, pain, concerns and hopes. He could then talk to him honestly and intentionally in a language that instilled in them a feeling that- someone actually cares for them and their life.
Next one would be to ‘care for others’. The harsh realities of today’s world has made man immune to expecting care or even love from his fellow human beings. Take for an example, smartphones were made as a tool to make people more productive, creative and smart in addition to communicate more with each other. What it has achieved is create a generation of addicts where memory is Evernote, communication is FaceTime or Hangouts or even Whatsapp.
If we had the care and empathy, I am absolutely sure Jesus would have personally delivered gifts to everyone and give poor Father Nick a much needed break! After all we do need to care about and empathize with the poor soul (whose idea of giving gifts and delivering happiness keeps us warm and joyful in this blessed season) as well!!
Merry Christmas!

 

Image courtesy: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/14/Carl_R%C3%B8gind_julekort.jpg

Of Goals and resolutions

Aha! it is the time of the year, when people get hooked into recounting and recollecting how the bygone year went by. Questions will be asked like, ‘How was this year for me?’, ‘What did I do last year?’, ‘Did I get to do the things that I said I would’? etc. Flashes of the important periods from the last 12 months will begin to formulate a picture in your mind. This picture might be of a resounding relief, astounding success or deafening silence of loss or despair.

Let’s face it, life is tough and never easy. It will be more of the things that you did not do than what you did. Some days you end up being the statue and on other days you end up being the bird. It is never fair. People always ask me, what is the point in making resolutions, when you know that you are not going to meet them? Self help gurus plan programs around goal setting, managing resolutions and meeting expectations that one would like to set for oneself. There are many products out there in the market for goal setting; some work, and some do not. All these programs assume that the person responsible for the action item would show the due diligence in accomplishing these goals.

What do I do for goal setting? Couple of years ago, I used to create mind maps on the most important things I need to do in a year. I used to discuss them with my spouse and make her create a similar one for her goals. Then we used to sit together and discuss how to meet/ achieve our goals together. At the end of the year we used to compare our success and discuss our failures and how to learn from them. This method was very successful and we have seen how our life grew leaps and bounds. However we did face lots of roadblocks and many failures. I would like to share some of my learnings:

Looking at the bigger picture:
I believe, it is important to set goals. I also believe in long-term planning and to look at the bigger picture and work backwards on how to reach that position. For e.g., in 5 years, I set aside a reasonable goal of obtaining an MBA degree. I work backwards to my present and set practical goals on how to prepare for my GMAT exam, research about the best universities and scholarships available and how much will the financial impact versus. benefit to doing this degree on my family be, etc. I believe this type of thinking would help me eventually get that MBA or degree within that time period.

Understanding procrastination, using delays to my benefit:
Abraham Lincoln once said ‘if I am asked to cut a tree in 7 hours, I would use 6 hrs to sharpen my axe’. One can argue that he could have said it to consider planning before undertaking any task. However it could also be read to plan considering delays.

I am a firm believer in margins. We need to set aside margins during goal setting. For e.g., I resolve not to eat donuts in the New Year and then on January 4, 2015, I give into temptation and eat a tasty donut, lamenting to everyone that New Year resolutions never work! Am I a weak person? Nope. If I account for the fact that I am susceptible to breaking my resolution, yet I will press on diligently and earnestly to reduce my intake significantly by recording every time I eat a donut or even when I break my resolve, I would only eat a low-calorie donut etc.In doing so, I inculcate in myself a desire that I can reduce my donut intake significantly and I can and I will do away with consuming donuts eventually.

I would like to conclude by including a few pointers for goal setting:

1. Always keep the big picture in mind while setting goals. Don’t focus on mere yearly goals.
2. Seek help with goals and if you are married align your goals with those of your spouse. Collective responsibility will help in success.
3. Always factor in margin during goal setting.

Image courtesy:  http://www.careerealism.com/home/jtodonnell/careerealism.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/entertainment-career-resolutions.jpg

THE LOVE SERIES: STORGE

As I waited outside her room, waiting to be called in,
Brimming with excitement, my heart skipped faster,
I was feeling numb and wonder within myself.
To a fan, his idol is a hero,
Nothing in this world can change that feeling,
Of affection and love- everlasting.
I am so happy today;
I had waited a long time for this day,
For after years of yearning, and waiting,
To meet my idol, who I idolized on-screen.
Her smile washed away the sadness of my life,
Her eyes radiated on me never ending gladness,
Her voice was special as it unlocked possibilities I never knew,
I am so excited to see her after all these years,
I will tell her of my life and how she made it special,
I owe my life to her and my affection to her is so full.
She was a goddess, ever beautiful and gracious,
Movies of her enthralled me to a life like no other,
As I grew, she danced to me a song,
A song of love, bright in possibilities,
A song of life, one of promise and happiness.
Movies are my life-they told me stories while I never had any,
They provided me with advice- since my parents I never knew any.
They were my good friends, they spoke to me when I never met any.
Movies introduced me to my idol-someone who taught me many.
I kept waiting and waiting,
For the moment that was in the making,
In my heart for time immemorial.
To see her and tell her my tales of tall.
‘Madam will see you now, are you ready?”
Announced a voice suddenly.
My eyes lit up at that moment,
With reaction was that forever in the making.
Ushered in was I into a room to meet my idol,
Flowing in my heart was rivers of joy so full.
Of love and affection so pure without lull,
I met my idol and began my tale to tell…..
Storge is the form of love that denotes ‘natural affection’.
Image courtesy: http://static.tumblr.com/cb56a2cbeb77817440995a4e1bea3b5d/w8rkhoq/Fcdmgtxnn/tumblr_static_holding-love.jpg

Taking Criticism

Recently there was a news article which mentioned about a massive media scandal involving the senior vice president of Uber, a ride sharing app. He suggested that Uber hire a team of opposition researchers and journalists, with a million-dollar budget, to dig into the personal lives and backgrounds of media figures who reported negatively about their company. The whole internet went into a frenzy lambasting Uber for its inability to take criticism. At the time of the incident, Uber was massively growing and was being valued at 20 billion dollars.
I’ve had a mixed track record when it comes to handling criticism. Sometimes, I tend to take criticism in my stride and sometimes I get vehement about it. Mostly I try to be defensive. All these attributes are wrong especially if I ever dream of being a man of substance. From the Uber episode, I thought of many events in my own life, when faced criticism, I had to react-only to berate myself for not listening to atleast the positive criticism. I then asked myself, why is it important to manage criticism? As I kept thinking, I felt some thoughts and hence sharing them as follows:
In life, most of the time, we discuss about success and failure. There is a clear demarcation line between being successful and being a loser. However criticism is like the grey area and it is going to be present in either scenarios. It may appear constant but it increases depending on how successful you are and also how much you have sunk into the depths of oblivion. Criticism can slow your success march or hasten your fall if not taken in the right spirit.
Criticism is like thorns to a rose. A beautiful rose will have the prickiest of thorns, but it will not kill it. The death of dying flower would be hastened by its thorns. You cannot build yourself for success if you don’t build yourself for criticism. Hard work, perseverance and focus are the hallmarks of success.
Managing criticism should always be factored into the equation. Why? As you grow more successful. there will be increased and enhanced good and bad criticism. People may sing praises about you and also criticize you heavily behind your back and in front of you for what you have done and not done. This shouldn’t be taken to heart but be used for growth and continuous improvement. It has to be kept in mind that growth, success and victory are not final. They can change with time. Criticism will be continuous as it can be considered as the feedback loop. If you do nothing about the feedback loop, the process fails one day and hence continuous improvement is imperative. It will only come from understanding and managing criticism.
When faced with criticism, make it a point to write it down and seperate them into two sections where you can see those which can be used to drive growth and those which can be thrown away. Tear the page of the criticism that can be thrown away and keep the one which can be factored into growth of your life journey.Since we all lead incomplete and imperfect lives till we die, whatever we do is never going to be complete or perfect. However we can improve by managing criticism and spurring growth eventually.
Concluding,
  • People will praise you and chide you in the same breath.
  • Consistent and proactive criticism management strategy should be factored into your growth and success plan for lasting success.

Image courtesy: http://mainstreetmix.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/criticism.jpg